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Building any successful relationship takes work
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But this relationship, like all relationships, takes communication. And even the most involved parents sometimes cause unintended discord in that relationship. In dealing with teachers and administrators, here is some advice.
1. Always assume positive intentions. Teachers are not out to punish or label a child. Even if they disagree with you — or you with them — it is important to remember that the teachers have your student’s best interest in mind. This may result in conflicts — but it is important to understand most miscommunications between families and schools are a result of different perspectives, not different beliefs in your student.
2. Be professional. You would not hold a business meeting in line at a grocery store. Your teachers don’t want to hold a conference there either. Scheduling a meeting (and coming prepared) with your teacher — even if you are friends with them — shows respect.
3. Follow the chain of command. Our general rule as an administration is to not allow our assistants to schedule a meeting with a principal unless the parents meet the teachers first. If you have an issue with the teacher, try to work it out with them first. Nothing severs parent-teacher trust faster than going above their head.
4. Trust our expertise. I have eaten in a restaurant. I even like to cook. This does not mean I should tell a chef how to prepare a dish. The same holds true for educators. Most of our teachers have worked with thousands of students over their careers and along the way they have become experts in the field of learning.
5. Ask before you criticize. If you don’t understand a new math curriculum, ask the math head. If you don’t understand why your school doesn’t have an activity you loved in school, ask the activities coordinator. Avoid the temptation to go viral. It puts schools on the defensive without giving them a chance to communicate with you first.
Education is more than a career. Excellent educators are passionate advocates for their students. Working with them, instead of against them, will result in a more effective and positive, and environment.
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