SHANGHAI native Zhang Guozhong recently lost his 98-year-old mother. According to Chinese tradition, the ceremony for someone who had such a long life should be a “happy funeral,” and a big occasion.

As a result, the funeral cost the family nearly 70,000 yuan (US$11,200).

“We didn’t have to buy a new tomb as my mother’s ashes are interred in a double tomb alongside my father’s,” says Zhang. “Otherwise, we may have had to spend another 40,000 to 80,000 yuan.”

Zhang gave Shanghai Daily a breakdown of the costs: As well as the funeral parlor hire, transport and catering services, the family spent 5,000 yuan on an urn, 3,000 yuan on a shroud and more than 2,000 yuan on paper offerings.

“Very soon after my mother passed away in the hospital, a funeral agent contacted me,” recalls Zhang. “He said he could arrange everything for me: from setting up a mourning hall at home to holding a funeral, to going to the cemetery to bury the ashes. All we needed to do was choose the products and pay.”

Zhang says he was well aware that the price was not reasonable, but had to accept it.

“In China, everything concerning the deceased must be dealt with reverently, and bargaining on the cost of the funeral and interment is, of course, forbidden,” explains Zhang.

“It is said that the deceased, especially seniors, would be disappointed or even angry if you haggled, as arranging a decent funeral is almost the last thing you can do for them. It is said that if they are angry, they may curse the whole family.”

According to the “Green Book on Chinese Funeral and Interment 2014-2015,” issued by the Ministry of Civil Affairs to mark the Qingming Festival, or Tomb Sweeping Day, which falls tomorrow, families in big cities such as Shanghai, Beijing and Guangzhou averagely spend around 80,000 yuan on a funeral.

The Shanghai Funeral and Interment Association says related products such as urns are so expensive because funeral parlors are not able to support themselves through services alone.

Wang Hongjie, director of the association, says the prices for basic services such as cremation are regulated by the government, with the price far from covering actual costs.

In Shanghai, a cremation fee is 180 yuan while the actual cost to the undertaker exceeds 600 yuan, says Wang.

“As far as we’re concerned, only about 3 to 5 percent of the funeral parlors in China can make profits through holding funerals and cremations,” says Wang. “For funeral parlors, urns may be their biggest income source.”

Wang says generally undertakers make a profit of around 70 to 80 percent on an urn. When this is offset against losses on other services, their eventual net profit may be about 20 to 30 percent.

Meanwhile, the increasingly high price of tombs has produced grim humor, with people saying they “can’t afford to die.”

“It’s common that a tomb is far more expensive than a square meter of an apartment,” says the recently bereaved Zhang. “We sometimes joke that people must be living in much more luxurious places after they die.”

Unfair comparison

At Fushouyuan Cemetery in Qingpu District, a standard outdoor tomb occupying less than 1 square meter costs around 80,000 yuan. Half that amount buys a wall burial tomb where urns are placed on indoor shelves.

But Zhao Yu, deputy general manager of the cemetery, says comparing the costs of tombs with houses is unfair.

“After you sell an apartment, it has nothing to do with you anymore, but after we sell a tomb, it is still our responsibility all year round,” says Zhao.

“And apart from tomb maintenance, we have greenery areas and facilities to maintain, the cost of which has to be covered by tomb sales,” he explains.

Zhao says while in recent years the government has promoted inexpensive tombs that take up less space, these are unpopular as they use degradable urns and the ashes will be lost in time.

And for the same reason, sea burials, which are subsidized by the government, are not popular either.

“The tradition of keeping the ashes or body intact has not changed and will not change in the near future,” says Zhao. “So despite the high prices, most people still buy tombs, which is also a challenge for us, because cemetery land in the city is very limited now.”

According to the Shanghai Civil Affairs Bureau, land for cemeteries in the city will be used up in around five years. To save land, new tombs developed should occupy no more than 1 square meter, according to the Shanghai government.

The city funeral and internment association says it hopes the government can develop more non-profit cemeteries for low-income families and give more realistic prices for services in regulations.

“The government should encourage paying more for services than products,” says association director Wang.

“After all, the funeral industry is special in that not many people are willing to be involved, and it is reasonable to expect higher prices for the services.”

Traditions and customs

As a vast country with a history stretching back thousands of years, China has ancient rules on the rituals of life and death. While traditions following a death may vary depending on the part of the country, they usually have one thing in common: They’re very complicated.

Here are some of the basic rules practiced in Shanghai.

Setting up a mourning hall
at home

After a person passes away, a mourning hall is immediately set up in their living room or bedroom at home.

A picture of the deceased is placed on a table, with a white candle placed on either side. In front of the picture an incense burner is placed and incense must be burned without interruption until the funeral is held. On the first night after the death, the family burns the clothes of the deceased.

These rituals mean that there must be a round-the-clock vigil, usually with the children of the deceased taking turns to stay up through the night. Their main responsibility is to change the incense before it burns out and burn paper offerings from time to time to prepare a “travel fee” for the deceased on their way to the afterlife.

The “7”

According to Chinese myths, the deceased’s soul may stay in the world for 49 days before going to the afterlife. During this period, they come home to have dinner and rest once a week. The living prepare them dinner and guide the soul back home through burning incense.

Nowadays, the “7” usually ends with the “fifth 7” — 35 days after the death. The fifth 7 is also the most important day for the deceased, as this is the day when Yama, king of the afterlife, judges them.

It is said as Yama doesn’t have a daughter, so is especially kind to people who have good daughters. Therefore, the fifth 7 is usually organized by women in the family.

Some families dismantle the mourning hall after the funeral, and some after the fifth 7.

Funeral and interment

In rural areas, the funeral is held immediately before the interment, but in cities this is impossible as the funeral is usually held before cremation.

While the funeral is quite simple, with only the family and former colleagues of the deceased giving eulogies and people placing flowers on the coffin, the interment has many rules.

Interment takes place either within two weeks or on the first Winter Solstice Day after the death.

• First of all, the urn must not be exposed to the sun, and is shaded by an umbrella, especially in a sunny day. It is said that sunlight may damage the soul as the soul belongs to yin while the sun belongs to yang.

• Firecrackers are set off before the urn is buried and sealed around to scare off evil spirits.

• Coins are placed around the urn to prevent any possible poverty for the deceased. A bowl, usually the bowl the deceased used during their lifetime, needs to be smashed in front of the tomb so that the deceased has something to eat from.

• Dishes and snacks are placed on the tomb and incense must be burned during the whole process.

• The ritual ends with burning paper offerings. Mourners usually form an unclosed circle and burn offerings, such as foil representations of ancient money and fake banknotes, inside the circle. A small number of offerings are burned outside it as well for neighboring tomb owners, requiring them to take care of the newcomer.

• After that, the family should visit the tomb every year around Qingming Festival.