Why is China's youth hooked on Cosplay commissions?

Imagine waking up one morning to find your favorite video game or anime character by your side, asking you out on a real-life date.

It sounds like something straight out of a fantasy novel, right? But in China, an increasing number of young women are turning this dream into reality through a paid service known as cosplay commissions.

Cosplay commissions aren't just about dressing up and acting as someone else – they offer a fully immersive emotional experience. By carefully crafting personalized dates, these services blur the line between the virtual and the real, offering clients fleeting but genuine emotional satisfaction.

For those who feel exhausted by the complexities of real-life relationships, cosplay commissions have become a new way to pursue idealized love.

But what makes this phenomenon so compelling? Why are more and more young women opting for this virtual love experience, and what unmet emotional needs are they seeking to fulfill?

Fantasy to reality: How cosplay commissions breaks the fourth wall

With the rise of otome games (romantic story-driven games aimed at women), cosplay commissions have taken off. In this service, a cosplayer (known as a coser) takes on the role of a client's favorite 2D character and goes on a fully customized, one-day date.

To maintain safety, these commissions are typically women-only, with the client covering all expenses during the date.

Take 19-year-old cosplay enthusiast Wei Shaoya, for example. She recently started her own commission business and explained to Shanghai Daily how cosers usually promote their services on social media with detailed "commission sheets".

These sheets are more than just a resume – they include information like pricing, location, height, characters they can accurately portray, skills, and personality traits.

"Clients choose cosers that fit their ideal best from these sheets," Wei explained. "And of course, the more 'good-looking' the coser, the higher the demand and the fees."

Before the date begins, cosers and clients exchange questionnaires to establish preferences and boundaries.

Clients are asked if they want the coser to stay in character the entire time, what level of physical interaction they're comfortable with, how they want the day to unfold, and whether they want additional pre-and post-date interactions like chats, couple's profile pictures, or playful nicknames.

Cosers go all out to ensure the client's experience is as immersive as possible. From the perfume they wear to knowing the client's favorite foods or milk tea preferences, no detail is too small.

He Ming, who has been in the business for six months, shared with Shanghai Daily that even seemingly trivial decisions matter.

"I even asked my friends whether I should use the men's or women's bathroom during a commission," she said. "We decided on the women's restroom. You don't want to expose yourself to 'unwanted sights.'"

Despite all the prep, first-time face-to-face meetings can still feel awkward. To avoid this, Cosers often use ice-breaking techniques to build rapport quickly and make the interaction feel natural.

Pre-commission communication is key.

"Awkwardness is inevitable, but if both sides talk more upfront and get to know each other better, it sets the stage for a much smoother experience," Wei said.

He, who has more experience, shared her personal tips.

"When we first meet, I might say something like 'Long time no see,' as if we've known each other before," she said. "It creates a dreamy, familiar vibe for the client."

In one case, He playfully got "jealous" when her client went off to take photos with another cosplayer during the date.

"When she came back, I jokingly accused her of 'cheating' – it added a little fun to the whole thing," she said.

'I may not have the looks, but I make up for it with love'

I have booked a cosplay commission myself, with the cosplayer playing Marius von Hagen (King) from Tears of Themis.

My coser greeted me with a warm hug and held my hand as we walked, making the whole experience feel like a real romantic date. Small gestures like tying my shoes, feeding me, and carrying my bag made me feel cared for in a way I hadn't expected.

But what really moved me was the follow-up. After the commission, my coser sent me a thoughtful write-up recounting our day together – reflecting on the moments we shared and her thoughts on the experience. Her words hit me deeply; it was as if she had woven our day into a story that I could cherish long after the date ended.

Despite numerous ways to build intimacy and enhance the experience, most cosers are women, and no matter how well-dressed they are, it's hard to recreate a 2D male character's features 1:1.

He, who has experience as a coser and client, believes personality is more important than physical traits.

"Looks are hard to change, but you can always put in the effort to mimic the character's personality," she said.

To avoid breaking character, He does her research. Before each commission, she watches or reads content about the character she's set to portray, ensuring she gets the personality traits down pat.

For Wei, her broadcasting major gives her a vocal edge.

"Some clients specifically request voice acting during the commission, and that's where I exce," she said.

However, she recently took on a commission to play Toge Inumaki from Jujutsu Kaisen, and laughingly admitted, "Toge doesn't speak! I'm still figuring out how to play a character like him."

While high levels of character accuracy and skilled role-playing are essential, they're only part of the equation.

"Whether you can provide emotional value is the real key to a successful commission," she said.

Wei agrees.

"I may not have a 'grand' appearance, but I make up for it with more 'love,'" she said.

Psychological motivation: Why is cosplay commission so addictive?

The most obvious draw of cosplay commissions is their ability to quickly and easily meet emotional needs.

In the paper "Utopias or dystopias? A study of youth intimacy in cosplay commissions," Zhou Zixing, a lecturer at East China University of Political Science and Law, explains that cosplay commissions commodify intimate relationships. By paying for these commissions, clients can experience the emotional satisfaction that might take far longer to find in the real world.

"While it's a one-day boyfriend experience, the emotional satisfaction is something that would take much more time and energy to build in a regular relationship," Wei said.

In today's fast-paced world, intimacy remains a top priority for many young people.

However, while real-life relationships can be messy and unpredictable, virtual boyfriends – carefully crafted by cosers–provide a safe, idealized emotional experience, Zhou explained.

"I think most clients are looking for an ideal date in a safe, controlled environment," says Bai Meijia Dai, a lecturer at Liaoning University, in an interview with Guhe Youth.

Fudan University psychologist Tian Qian also told the BBC that many people prefer this "fantasy" relationship before jumping into something real.

"You get emotional fulfillment without the conflict – just by paying for it," she said. "That's part of the appeal of 2D culture."

Indeed, cosplay commissions allow clients to not only choose their favorite characters but to tailor every detail of the experience, giving them control over a perfect relationship that real life often lacks.

For He, this level of customization feels like "living the dream".

"In games, you can only interact with characters in limited ways," He said. "But during cosplay commissions, I can have 'him' listen to my real-world problems and respond to them. It feels like he's really here with me."

For those who are introverted or socially anxious, cosplay commissions provide a much-needed emotional outlet.

"Some clients don't interact much in real life, but through these commissions, they've found emotional connection and companionship," He said.

Tian also pointed out that these services often fulfill a deeper emotional need – to be seen.

"Even though you're paying for it, these commissions allow people to feel seen, which is a key aspect of intimate relationships," she said.

In this way, cosplay commissions can even offer a sense of emotional healing.

Emotional rollercoaster: Double-edged sword of cosplay commissions

As cosplay commissions gain popularity, more professionals and hobbyists are flocking to the industry. In 2022, cosplay commissions were named one of the "Top Ten Side Jobs," alongside services like home-cooked meals and professional photo shoots.

High profits are the main attraction. Fees range from 300 (US$50) to 1000 yuan a day, and some top-tier cosers earn more than 1000 yuan for a single day's work. Many of these popular cosers are booked out months in advance, and in some cases, clients are even willing to pay six-figure sums to book exclusive services.

But with this financial success comes a wave of challenges, especially the withdrawal symptoms that clients experience after emotionally intense interactions abruptly end.

"It's like when you're deeply immersed in a play," Wei said. "It's hard to pull yourself out immediately."

After the commission ends, clients often feel an emotional void and find it difficult to adjust to the sudden stop in virtual interaction.

He, on the other hand, sees things differently.

"I get worried when I don't feel that withdrawal," she admitted. "Once, after a commission, I wondered if my money was wasted because I didn't feel that emotional response. Was it the coser's fault, or was I just not engaged enough?" Eventually, she concluded that the coser simply didn't understand the character well enough, preventing her from fully immersing in the experience.

According to Zhou, commodifying emotional experiences often leads to withdrawal symptoms, as clients seek to relive that satisfaction over and over again.

A Nai, another client, explained: "The day after the date, I shared pictures with friends, and over the next few days, I kept replaying the little moments from the date in my mind. It felt so fun to relive it, and within a few days, I already wanted to book another commission."

This constant craving to extend the emotional high is what drives many clients to rebook commissions. The more fulfilling the experience, the stronger the desire to continue reliving it, leading to a cycle of emotional dependence.

A lack of industry standards: unregulated, uncertain

But these withdrawal symptoms are only one side of the coin. The booming cosplay commission industry is also plagued by a lack of regulation. As the market grows, the absence of industry standards is becoming increasingly apparent, leading to a wide range of quality in services and even instances of exploitation.

On platforms like Xiaohongshu (also known as Red), complaints abound. Some clients accuse cosers of being disengaged or inattentive, claiming they spent the entire date playing on their phones.

Cosers, on the other hand, argue that clients don't always communicate their expectations clearly, leading to unmet desires and dissatisfaction.

Without clear boundaries or professional guidelines, disputes often spill onto social media, where the court of public opinion becomes the arbiter.

One case involved a coser who was accused of sexual harassment after repeatedly flirting with attractive clients. Despite being called out publicly, this coser continued operating, which prompted other cosers to criticize the lack of accountability in the industry.

"It's like the Internet has no memory," He remarked bitterly.

But it's not just the cosers–clients can also take advantage of the system. Some have been known to fabricate complaints online or distort the facts to avoid paying commission fees.

In another incident, He recalled, a client concealed her underage status, leading to issues later when a coser realized they were dealing with a minor.

"Cosers have no way to verify the identity of clients upfront, since we don't ask for IDs," she said. "There's little protection in place for us."

When things like aesthetics, emotions, and even conversations become commodities that can be bought and sold, the transaction naturally becomes unpredictable and poorly regulated, explains Zhou.

"Even if both sides share a common understanding of 'anime culture,' that connection isn't strong enough to serve as a moral guideline," she said.

She adds, more pessimistically: "The nature of capitalism is to chase profit. Without industry regulation and social oversight, these exchanges will inevitably turn into purely profit-driven business practices."

Virtual love, real questions

The emotional track Long Distance, a favorite in many otome games, includes the lyrics: "Love can conquer any distance – we'll always stay together, no matter how far apart we are." But how long can a 2D boyfriend, who has crossed from the virtual world into reality, truly stay by your side?

Cosplay commissions offer a risk-free, controlled environment for emotional interaction, but can they truly replace real-life relationships? When emotional experiences can be bought with a few clicks and some cash, do we still put in the effort to cultivate genuine connections?

As the lines between the virtual and real worlds blur, how do we balance our emotional needs in both spaces? Perhaps, the answers are still being written, as this phenomenon continues to evolve.