Forget the Olympics, we all deserve a medal

When did the pinnacle of human achievement become a “clear dismount?”

I’ve watched the Olympics for the past two weeks because Shane made me. Admittedly I got into it, the same way if you eat enough Brie you start to like the taste. Before you get mad, this is not an article against the Olympics. It’s a case for everyday champions battling everyday situations with all the strength and training they can muster.

As the world turned to Paris, it’s hard not to be impressed by the breathtaking displays of athleticism. The Games bring together our finest athletes, all pushing the boundaries of what’s possible in an unparalleled celebration of human potential. From synchronized divers to gravity-defying gymnasts, Olympians are reminders to strive for our personal best. If aliens land tomorrow, I’d vote we wheel out Simone Biles or Pan Zhanle to show them what we’re capable of.

But as freakishly good as these people are, somewhere between shot put and sprinting it occurred to me that we’re all running our own race. OK, we’re running it slower and looking less sexy in Lycra, but there’s nothing easy about life and its hurdles.

Take my mom, Adele. For years she was a single mother. My biological father was scary, and mom is a survivor of domestic violence. At just 21 with me to care for, she studied law while working two jobs to put food in my belly. She went on to be a kick-ass lawyer and then retrained in her late 40s to become a kick-ass therapist with her own YouTube Channel. Last week, she talked someone down from suicidal ideations.

Tell me that woman isn’t a hero.

That hero has a sister, Lesley. She, despite her own struggles, has only ever wanted the best for me. Les loved me when she didn’t have to, because life has been a lot kinder to me than it has ever been to her. She’s been my mom’s little sister and my big sister all at once.

Another standout human is my stepdad, Stuart. He came into our lives when I was 8 years old. Despite doing everything possible to test him, he took me on without question and has loved me every day since. He’s nursed hangovers and heartbreaks, been my personal chauffeur, and eventually walked me down the aisle when I married Shane. He is my playmate, my Yoda, my dad. I adore him.

Shane is my favorite human. We’ve been together for 15 years. It hasn’t always been easy, but it has always been a team effort. I have mental health issues, and I’ve made mistakes that are tough to live with. Shane has held me up when the weight of my pain has been too heavy to handle alone. He’s never once made me feel anything but strong. When this column, “The Oyster Pail,” had its first birthday, he bought me an oyster pail box for every article I’d written. For its last birthday, he sent me balloons and a cake. The man celebrates my successes and soothes my sores. And after all this time, he still wakes me up with a coffee and a kiss. Marrying him is my greatest ever win. And it comes with the massive bonus of his impossibly beautiful family.

These heroes are the ones required to be nice. But there are more who make life better because they are awesome without duty. Colette checks up whenever Shane is away because she knows I can self-destruct, so does David. Hu Jun takes the photos for this column and makes me feel comfortable on camera when I’m anything but. Jing is a powerhouse of a human who’s never scared to tell me the truth but always there to help it hurt less. Sam has never given up on me despite getting little in return, and same goes for Selina. Mark figuratively held my hand over text when I had to kill a cockroach, and Mary brought me gifts when she knew I was living with a rat. Louise sends me voice messages that are a constant source of beauty, strength, laughter and inspiration. Jane, Bohan, Cat, Karli, Ian, Denise, Agnes, Ans, Harry, Mima, Sabeen, Eva, Bivash, Tonye, Carrie, Lorraine, George. There are more, so many more. But I have a word count to keep.

I tell you about these people not to brag; I hope and assume you have your own versions. I tell you because in my eyes these people are the real deal. They’ve suffered their own pains and fought their own battles. But every single one shows up regardless. That to me is an Olympian effort.

If the Olympics is about being the best possible people, then these people make my podium.

Look to your left, look to your right. Don’t forget to put yourself center. We are all in the middle of life and each doing everything we can to survive it. Stay kind, keep going, and never forget that you are gold for someone.