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March 26, 2024

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You are not special and you don’t have to be

Many of us have grown up repeatedly being told that we are special, that we’re extraordinary, whether this idea was sold by parents, mentors, celebrities or inspirational videos. But let me tell you something: you’re not — and you don’t have to be.

Before I explain, let’s delve into why we think this way.

Throughout our whole life, we’ve been flooded with images and stories of the truly extraordinary, especially with the rise of the Internet and social media. The most viral videos, the most luxurious houses, the most coveted cars ... this overwhelming stream of extreme information has conditioned us to believe that exceptionalism is the new normal.

Clinical therapist Alyssa Acosta, leader of the Adolescent Partial Hospital Program at Loma Linda University Behavioral Health, broke down the impact of social media on the self-perception and mental well-being of young individual. She discovered that one of the primary ways social media affect youth self-image is through the propagation of an idealized and often unattainable standard of beauty.

“Social media platforms are flooded with meticulously curated profiles, showcasing seemingly perfect lives, flawless appearances, and ideal bodies. This constant exposure to images of seemingly perfect individuals can lead young people to develop unrealistic expectations about their own appearance and life achievements,” Acosta says, adding that comparing oneself to these distorted representations can lead to feelings of inadequacy, lowered self-esteem, and even body dysmorphia.

However, the truth is that most of us are quite average at everything we do. Even if you excel in one area, chances are you struggle with others. Looking at all the truly “extraordinary”, we, as average individuals, begin to question our worthiness.

No. I’m not saying that we cannot be special. On the contrary, I believe that everyone has the potential to be special. The ironic truth is that the very thing that holds us back from being extraordinary is our belief that we will be that. We get brainwashed by all these Tik-Tok superstars and celebrities, till the point where we genuinely believe at the back of our minds that we are destined for greatness. Once we fool ourselves into this certainty, we constantly stop trying and striving and struggling to reach that goal, which ultimately prevents us from reaching that goal.




 

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