Chinese newlyweds say 'I do' to no-frills marriages that save money and stress
He Sihao (right) and Ding Yifeng stop for a quick photo after receiving their marriage certificate.
Even into modern times, weddings in China have usually been grandiose affairs, with a lavish banquet, entertainment, long guest lists, elaborate decorations and traditions that date back generations.
But nowadays, more young couples are saying "no" to the big, fancy wedding and saying "yes" to simpler, no-frills celebrations.
These "minimalist weddings" typically eschew the bridal convoy, the ceremony of fetching the bride, and the bridesmaids and grooms. There's often no master of ceremonies, no tear-jerking moments and, sometimes, not even a wedding banquet or guests.
In essence, such weddings are stripped down to the bare essentials to become events where two people pledge their troth in a moment usually scripted by themselves.
Zhan Bowen and Zhai Tong celebrated their love with a minimalist wedding in the southern province of Guangdong last July. There was a five-minute speech from the couple, then straight to a wedding meal.
"The wedding was to create beautiful memories for ourselves," said Zhan, the bride. "We didn't have to follow a long list of must-dos for the event to leave us with happy memories. Anyway, a wedding that involves an hourlong talk about a love story gets nobody's attention, and meanwhile, the food gets cold."
She said she believes the more people prepare and anticipate their wedding celebrations, the more regrets are likely to follow.
"Without high expectations, prepare yourself for some pleasant surprises," she added.
The video of their short speech resonated with over 50,000 people on the social media platform Xiaohongshu, eliciting widespread support.
Minimalist weddings garner widespread social media interest.
In a deviation from Western customs, Chinese wedding celebrations don't typically occur on the same day as the legal marriage. Couples usually get marriage certificates by registering at a government office, but their union is not socially embraced until the wedding party, which can occur sometime later. If the couple has not yet bought a home, the newlyweds may even live with their respective parents until the wedding celebration.
In short, the wedding party formalizes a marriage, and newlyweds must decide how family and friends will celebrate their union.
According to a recent survey by China Youth Daily, about 78 percent of young adults endorse the concept of no-frills weddings. And some 60 percent view the trend as a reflection of a desire for individuality and freedom from social pressures. They also believe traditional wedding customs have become passé.
The survey said the move toward more intimate, personal celebrations values the essence of a relationship over spectacle.
In Shanghai, the shift toward simplicity in weddings is clear. And there's an added benefit. The money saved by shunning costly celebrations can be spent on more meaningful aspects of a couple's new life together.
He Sihao, a community worker in Hongkou District, and Ding Yifeng, a human resources staffer at a foreign company, are planning a straightforward yet traditional wedding in Shanghai this September.
They have chosen a one-stop wedding service that covers everything from the wedding car to the ceremony. The watchword is simplicity.
"We just want a wedding that's easy on us and our families," Ding explained.
That means eliminating some old customs they feel are superfluous, like elaborate games, an expensive diamond ring, unnaturally posed professional wedding photos and marriage bedroom pranks.
They are spending most of their budget on the banquet.
"Life's big moments should be meaningful rather than luxurious," He told Shanghai Daily. "Simplicity does not diminish significance."
He Sihao (right) and Ding Yifeng pose with their marriage certificates.
Tao Yinbing, a veteran local wedding planner, said she is seeing more couples ask for what are called "three-no weddings" – no to the bridal convoy, no to the elaborate fetching of the bride and no a bridal party.
"They just don't want the stress of a big show, and they don't want to spend too much," said Tao, who has been operating a company specializing in small-scale weddings for over a decade.
She said the new trend is a seismic shift in the wedding business.
"Simple weddings let couples enjoy their day more," she told Shanghai Daily. "They get to focus on each other and the fun by not doing things just because 'that's how it's done.'"
A recent survey by Houlang Research Institute shows that both men and women agree that door-blocking games are the least necessary part of a wedding. On the men's dislike list are games for guests and the long process of toasting guests during the banquet.
Over half of young people also want DIY weddings, with more than 60 percent seeking a relaxed wedding vibe.
Certainly, minimalist weddings are easy on the budget, compared with their grandiose counterparts.
A report by Guyu Data shows that the average cost of a traditional wedding is about 174,000 yuan (US$24,100), or about nine times the combined monthly income of the betrothed.
Moreover, 42 percent of couples who start down the path of an elaborate wedding end up spending more than budgeted. Expenses range from wedding photography to venue selection, décor, entertainment, food and drink and wedding planners. And preparations for these gala events can stretch over half a year.
A new bride surnamed Yu from the city of Nanjing said she invited only about 20 family and close friends for her wedding last May. The affair skipped the bridal pickup, the wedding convoy and the bridesmaids and grooms.
She bought a simple wedding dress online, rented a homestay for the venue and spent less than 80,000 yuan, including decorations, makeup, catering and drinks.
"We didn't need to perform, give speeches or engage with many guests I hardly knew," Yu said.
A no-frills wedding shown online focuses on the relationship of the couple, not impressing guests.
This trend toward simpler, more intimate wedding celebrations is not confined to China. Globally, lawn weddings, camping weddings, civil ceremonies or even elopement are becoming more popular. Small weddings in family homes, local community centers or even online streamed events have attracted the interest of many engaged couples.
Millennials and Gen Z in the United States are transforming wedding traditions by prioritizing personalization over established norms, according to a survey by The Knot, a top wedding planning company.
The survey of over 9,000 young US couples revealed declining popularity in matching wedding attire or traditional church venues.
Ye Deqin, a clinical psychologist from the southeast Chinese province of Fujian, said the high cost of elaborate wedding celebrations is a key factor behind the trend.
Simpler ceremonies reduce economic strain, offering a grounded approach, Ye told Strait News. Moving away from traditional wedding complexities to embrace equality and personal satisfaction mirrors modern marital ideals, she said.
This evolution encourages young people to celebrate their unions in more joyful, equitable, and liberated style, she added.
Shanghai sociologist Gu Jun said the trend of minimalist weddings reflects a historical cycle where extravagance inevitably leads to simplicity.
"When we were young, our weddings were grand for a day, but then, as newlyweds, we'd eat simple meals for years," Gu told Shanghai Daily. "Young people today have become more enlightened."
He questioned the necessity of spending huge sums on lavish weddings that are influenced by social norms. Economic pressures such as high housing costs, Gu said, make grand weddings impractical and prompt a rethink of old traditions.
He also noted a significant shift in perspectives, particularly among women, toward practicality over pomp.
A couple hosts their own wedding, simplifying the process and reducing costs.
