Not a travel diary: Shanghai's mangled columnist goes home
Since I last wrote this column, I got broken in ways I never expected. Not by one thing or another but by a series of events so painful that their accumulation near killed me. The truth is, I'm still putting myself back together, and while that might sound like a poetic process, it isn't.
Some of you may know me by the unfortunate fact my person (Shane) and I caught COVID in March and shared our experience with the world on Twitter. Others may know about my work with members of Shanghai's mental health community during lockdown.
This space – "The Oyster Pail" – is my home, built from the things I care about most. Being your columnist is the privilege of my life, and I'll never stop banging on about it. The why behind the work is a want to get together and mash out the complexities of our humanness. We don't always have to agree; it would be boring if we did, but we can connect if we're willing to understand. That's what "The Oyster Pail" is. And while I've been its author since 2020, in November 2022, I don't feel like "her." Yet.
We all get broken, and when we do, parts of the whole that once made are lost. Maybe not forever, but we need to remember where they go and the fit never feels the same. I don't want to keep talking about the pain of the past, but I will touch on it to remind myself it's there because some things should never be forgotten. When we're ready, hurt can manifest into something useful. To quote the fabulous creature, Harry Styles, "it's not the same as it was," and maybe that's OK. There's room for growth in the cracks of grief.
With that, I'm leaving. Not for good, just for a bit, and I want you to come with me. Why? Because I'm not the only human to ever get mangled, and everyone needs space from their stuff. Plus, if I stay, we'll be stuck talking about the same thing we're all fed up with.
First, let's address the obvious. Travel is possible, but it's only possible for some, and situations can change from one moment to the next. Equally, I'm tired of living on a knife edge. Not everyone can work remotely, but we do enjoy a weekend away, so I'll stick to places within a three-hour rail or road journey from Shanghai. The hope is that when personal circumstances allow, you'll step outside whatever chunks of life you need distance from.
This trip isn't a travel diary. It's a journey home to Shanghai, to "The Oyster Pail," and to you. Or, less nauseatingly, a columnist's attempt at sorting her shit out.
That's it. I'm between Trip.com and deciding how many books to shove in my backpack, so Shane (he gets dragged into everything) is picking a week's worth of articles he thinks you'll like from previous seasons of "The Oyster Pail." We look at the past to fathom our future and these reads are a taster of what to expect. If you're new to this space, welcome; if we've met before, it's good to see you. We have lots to talk about.
Catch up next week in Huangshan.
To follow her journey more closely, join Emma on Facebook (Emma Leaning) and Twitter (@LeaningEmma)
Happy birthday: We're all getting older, so let's end agism
Society thinks of everyone over a certain age the same way, and consumerism encourages us to fight time like it's a battle we can win. No wonder we're all scared stiff. The ballroom dancing, saxophone playing and tai chi practicing seniors in Fuxing Park prove age is what we make of it.
Read the full article here.
Mentally ill columnist on media rampage!
Not all stories are helpful, and some are damn right damaging. Headlines like "Chinese woman attacking Shanghai Disneyland performer diagnosed with acute psychosis" transform a mental health condition into a public safety concern. And it won't do.
Read the full article here.
Nobody speak: the fear of cancel culture
Technology changes the way we behave. We used to tar and feather those judged worthy of public shaming; today, we crush them with a hashtag. Is cancelation an effective way to hold people to account, or has mob mentality gone viral?
Read the full article here.
Seriously, shut up about your first-world issues
"First-world issue" is a blithe response to anything deemed trivial when compared to problems of greater social significance. Examples include a cracked iPhone and running out of oat milk. But stress is personal and reminding each other about starving children won't fix the Wi-Fi.
Read the full article here.
Those that can: the carefree life of teachers
Enviable pay, short workdays and half the year off. Who wouldn't want to be a teacher? Why do 50 percent of teaching graduates leave the profession within five years when they've got it so easy?
Read the full article here.
Why letting go feels really good
When people behave gracefully toward unthinkable acts, surely, we can excuse getting dumped via text. But reconciling with idiots and the hurt they've caused is easier said than done. How do you learn to forgive? Or is forgiveness less about us and more to do with time?
Read the full article here.
