Ancient wisdom reveals the secrets of love as we celebrate Chinese Saint Valentine's Day

Dedicated to Chinese Saint Valentine's Day

Everyone is looking for love. Even those who deny its necessity still want to love and be loved. In our universal quest for love, there are different ideas about what is more important – to love or to be loved. I personally think that love can only be mutual, and in a real loving relationship, I believe no one counts; everything goes naturally in a healthy manner. This is the feeling of togetherness.

Despite these desires, a question lingers: why do so many feel a sense of solitude even while in a relationship? What is the formula for a lasting, fulfilling partnership or marriage?

Intrigued by these questions, I talked to some people, mostly those of the previous generation.

The older generation tended to repair things, rather than buy new things, the same in relationships. Of course, we can think that in previous times some people were under societal pressure. Somehow, probably yes, divorce wasn't common. But at the same time, marriages were stronger because people from that time knew some secrets.

The role of the family in Chinese society is crucial, so I was in China, the right place to learn wisdom from its people. In China, a nation where the ancient principles of Confucianism still profoundly influence family life.

The most common answer to my question – What is the secret of long-term marriage in China? – was compassion. I was surprised. I asked them to elaborate and explain to me what are the roots of this? How can I implement this in practice? They told me to learn deeper the concept of yin and yang.

The cornerstone of Chinese philosophical thought is the balance of yin and yang – symbolizing the essential dualities of life such as earth and sky, female and male, light and dark. This philosophy teaches that true harmony is achieved when opposites support each other, each following its unique path while enriching the other's existence.

This requires the effort of both sides. Yang exists in harmony only with Yin. Chinese philosophy teaches harmony. The ability to find a middle ground and cooperate with each other. To be able to see through the eyes of another person, hear with their ears, and feel with their heart. The aim is to eradicate selfishness. This is how the love of two mature personalities begins.

The secret of family harmony in China is hidden in the very concept of man and woman. The Chinese character for "man" means "to take responsibility," and "woman" means "follow the instructions of others." The Book of Changes says "Yang sings, Yin echoes. A man acts, a woman follows him." Unite together for a common goal, achieve harmony and become stronger together.

That's the secret of strong Chinese marriages. And who knows, if we follow it, maybe our relationship can also become stronger.

I wish everyone in a relationship to be happy in love with their partner, or for those who are looking for love – to find it, and when you get it, take care of it and be happy! Happy Chinese Saint Valentine's Day!