Lessons from the football field: What 'Ted Lasso' has taught me

This fortnight there’s been a series of heartbreaks, from a brutal coal mine attack in Pakistan to ongoing tensions in Gaza. Ten countries and territories experienced severe flooding over 12 days, while the death toll from a tropical storm that slammed into the Philippines rose to 90.

In Brazil, a journalist was assassinated; in Australia, a man was charged with murdering his partner; and in Mexico, a 15-year-old boy was shot dead. Biodiversity continues to decline, with species populations down more than 70 percent, while a reported 35.3 million refugees worldwide have fled their homes due to conflict and human rights violations. Need I go on?

What makes these events sadder is that they are nothing new. The world is often a difficult and painful place to be. But pain doesn’t need to make the news to matter. Every day we come close to suffering or in close contact to someone who is. Often that suffering happens in silence because we live in a culture where struggle equals failure and happy social media posts reign supreme. Too many of us pretend to be OK when we’re not. The fact is that little about life is easy, and for that reason I’ve never had much time or patience for positive thinking.

“It could be worse.” “Live, laugh, love.” “Miracles happen every day.”

My eyes roll. We’ve all fallen victim to these drab expressions. A no doubt well-meaning man once told me: “Smile, it might never happen.” My nana had just died. That’s the problem. When we spew this stuff, we often don’t know what we’re spewing it on. Even worse is to hear sunshine mentality from those we love who cannot sit under our clouds. In discomfort, they distance themselves with pretty words that have no place in the moment.

Or do they?

I recently took sick leave, and to lift my spirits, a friend suggested I swap my love of gritty TV for something light. “Ted Lasso” was their suggestion. The award-winning series follows an American football coach hired to manage an English soccer team without any experience of the game. With his infectious energy, Ted wins over players and learns valuable lessons abut himself, life and friendship.

“Ted Lasso” is not my type of television. But the program received widespread critical acclaim for its balance of humour and emotional depth, so I gave it a go. Several episodes in, and I’m hooked. What about “Ted Lasso” can turn a skeptic soft?

On first watch, Ted’s optimism seems naive and simplistic. But as the show progresses, it becomes clear his positivity isn’t half-assed. There’s something disarmingly genuine about this coach. Case in point, when a player misses a goal and feels the weight of his team, Ted tells him: “You know what the happiest animal in the world is? It’s a goldfish. You know why? It’s got a 10-second memory. Be a goldfish.”

In another episode, Ted tells his disheartened players: “I promise you, there is something worse out there than being sad, and that’s being alone and sad. Ain’t nobody in this room alone.”

And when reflecting on the fouls life throws at us, Ted said: “I think those things come into our lives to help us get from one place to a better one.”

Ted’s positivity is actionable. It’s purposeful. It’s personal. His brand isn’t about making people feel good; it’s about empowering them. His words are more than empty platitudes; they are tools for growth. When Ted tells someone to “be a goldfish,” he isn’t dismissing their disappointment. He’s offering them a way through it. When he reminds his team they’re not alone, he’s building a sense of community.

In one scene, Ted quotes Walt Whitman, who said: “Be curious, not judgemental.” And I guess that’s what “Ted Lasso” taught me. I’m curious how things would be different if we all adopted his philosophy. Could empathy become our first response to challenges? Might setbacks be opportunities?

Maybe we’d find strength in vulnerability and wisdom in simplicity.

I’m convinced everyone needs a Ted Lasso. I’ll be yours if you’ll be mine.

Yes, we’re talking about a TV show, but the way Ted approaches life isn’t just about optimism. It’s about staying open to what others feel — even when we don’t understand. In our divided reality, curiosity could be life’s game changer. And with Ted’s playbook, we might just win.