How parents can deal with negativity when children are studying at home

Imaginechina

Many Shanghai parents are suffering mental distress rather than enjoying pleasant family time with their children at home taking online classes amid the COVID-19 epidemic.

Dr Xie Bin from the Shanghai Mental Health Center asked parents to adjust their mental attitudes during home quarantine with their children.

The Shanghai Education Commission announced on March 11 that all local elementary and secondary schools would move their teaching online due to the city's latest requirements for coronavirus prevention and control.

Many employees are also required to work at home to answer the call of the city's health commission to reduce mobility while taking screening tests to achieve "dynamic zero-COVID-19" at the community level soon.

However, the rare and precious family time is more likely to become a crushing experience for many parents, who have to keep an eye on their children, while handling their own job businesses.

The video of a mum crying while complaining about her son taking online classes at home has gone viral on Douyin, the Chinese version of Tiktok, and is echoed by many local parents.

"Once distracted for a second, my son can no longer keep the pace of the teachers," the mum said. "I cannot remind him to avoid additional distraction, but witness him sitting in front of the computer, getting totally perplexed and then playing with his pens."

Xie said such mental distress comes from the empathy between the parents and their children. There is no need to try to shun such feelings, which are quite normal.

Lack of security

The key anxiety comes from the lack of security for the future of their children. They are worried their children might lag behind their peers, which will become a pressure to the children, he noted.

"Some parents worried their children would be exceeded by classmates under the online teaching or hope they could make greater progress at home, while others felt guilt after they failed to serve as a good teacher," Xie said.

"Most grievances against the online classes come from the parents.

"They should firstly adjust their mental conditions to help their children make adjustments and get through the special period more smoothly, rationally and constructively."

He suggested parents guide their children with daily study plans to help them keep pace with the online classes.

Parents can arrange the study room of their children to look like a real classroom and keep some routine school activities at home, such as the flag-raising ceremony every morning.

They should be more tolerant when children were distracted, loss their temper or unaccustomed to online learning, because the children also need time to get used to the online classes.

He said children actually have a better capability than adults to adapt to changes and restore their normal study conditions.

Parents can also invite children to do sports or housework together to create a positive and optimistic living and studying atmosphere at home. They suggested competing with their children in plank, push-up or rope skipping as well as inviting the children to cook a meal with them.

He reminded parents to avoid displaying negative or anxious feelings to their children, as well as reduce their interference, which will help to enhance their children's consciousness, focus and efficiency.

"The meaning of parenting is not merely offering a rich and comfortable life for your children, but to gain the warmth, courage and strength to overcome difficulties and lead them to grow and make progress," Xie said.